I Have a Dilemma

6 Apr

Remember all of that job related stuff I told you about the other day? The stuff that sounded like it had great potential and was exciting?

I’m not in the least bit excited about it – I mean not. at. all. I was excited for about the rest of Wednesday, and by Thursday when I started to really think about what this change would entail, my excitement soon changed to worry, dread, confusion. I’m taking this as a sign, only I don’t really know what to do about it. Always trust your gut, right?

I’ve been doing this same type of work since I was 19 and I’m good at it. It’s not my dream job (that would be personal trainer/running coach/possible nutritionist too – it took me a long time to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up, but now that I know I’m not letting that dream slip away), but it pays the bills and I know how to get it done.

Right now, I’m responsible for no one but me, and I report directly to the owner of the company.  This new position would change my direct report to a coworker that I consider an “equal”.  I’m unsure of how this direct report change would affect our working relationship, which right now is that of friendly coworkers who chit chat about our family and pets, and occasionally eat lunch together.

The boss’s son (who is pretty much the current boss, since the big boss is on extended vaca {early retirement} in Florida) thinks I’m unhappy in this position because I’m not being challenged, mostly because I haven’t shared my future plans with him. Most of my coworkers don’t know what I plan on doing with my life, because I tend to keep to myself with personal matters.

It’s time for me to move on down the road, follow my dreams, and live my passion.

But until I actually have a new job, how do I handle that here? I’d like to be able to maintain my current position while I search for a new job, but I don’t know how to tell my boss that I do not want the promotion.

Hence, my dilemma.

What would you do?


27 Responses to “I Have a Dilemma”

  1. bendiful April 6, 2012 at 11:45 am #

    I am actually writing a post on my blog about a similar situation! Only my big problem IS I’m not challenged. I will send you lots of good vibes for a new position and remember “rewarded are those who hustle while they wait!” You’re doing all the right things and an opportunity will present it’s self!

    • runcupcake April 9, 2012 at 9:09 pm #

      Thank you thank you! Good luck to you too!!!!

      • cottercrunch April 10, 2012 at 7:13 am #

        oh tough call. but I like what she said, hustle while you wait. Things can happen, they will!

  2. RunToTheFinish April 6, 2012 at 11:45 am #

    doh i had a great comment and it was lost so let’s try this again. Many of us have been where you are and the best advice i’ve ever heard was as follows

    Do not quit without a plan
    Decide how much money you need to save
    Decide if you can then afford a paycut to work somewhere you like better (i.e. a gym)
    No plan like crazy and start working towards it

    Once you have a plan it makes each day easier because you know you aren’t there forever

  3. Alexandra Williams (@Alexandrafunfit) April 6, 2012 at 11:48 am #

    Well, since I have kids and mortgages, I speak from the perspective of economic necessity. So my advice is to stay there while you hunt for something else. Or you stay there until you get your trainer cert. You will NOT be happy with no job and bills to pay. That’s way more stressful. I would caution you against inertia, though. And good luck.

    • runcupcake April 9, 2012 at 9:08 pm #

      No job and bills to pay would indeed make me unhappy! I don’t want that stress! I wasn’t planning on just up and quitting, that would be highly unintelligent. It’s just tough to stick it out some days.

  4. the MF Dre April 6, 2012 at 12:01 pm #

    Set yourself free. Sometimes we have to take risks and put ourselves in scary positions in order to do and find what we love. It sounds like you have to be the one to make the change and start over and perhaps being 100% free and taking an interim job say at LuluLemon or a Gym or something that is more in line with things that DO interest you may actually more quickly propel you into the job you really want.

    • runcupcake April 9, 2012 at 9:08 pm #

      I am doing (partially) just that – I plan to begin the search looking for something more related to being a trainer/working in health/fitness than what I am currently doing. That’s a great step along the way.

  5. Krissie J April 6, 2012 at 12:16 pm #

    I definitely think you should trust your gut. I’m kind of in the same position where I don’t think I’m working at my dream job, but different in that I have NO idea what my dream job would be. However, I would also trust that they would not be giving you this promotion if you didn’t deserve it, and they clearly feel you do. If you can, mull it over during the weekend and consider the pros/cons. While taking this may not be exactly fantastic, it could give you the bump in pay to save/plan for your real dreams, and anything that gets you there I would consider a blessing. 🙂 Good luck, lady! And schedule some relaxation time, too! Life decisions can be insanely draining!!

    • runcupcake April 9, 2012 at 9:07 pm #

      🙂 Thanks! Between thinking about this and all involved with the holiday, I was certainly drained last night!

      Every stepping stone to a better future truly is a blessing isn’t it? I never really thought of it that way. 🙂

  6. Jess Sutera April 6, 2012 at 12:19 pm #

    I guess the question is – can you stay in your current role without raising eyebrows that you might be “on the move”? If you can’t opt for that, I guess you could take the promotion (esp if it means more money, why not?!) and just look at it as a bill-payer until you can find that “next step” job that will get you closer to following your dreams. Does that help/make sense?

    • runcupcake April 9, 2012 at 9:06 pm #

      It makes total sense, I definitely have to approach the boss and see what this new position pays. That wasn’t addressed in our meeting.

  7. Paula Salisbury April 6, 2012 at 12:30 pm #

    Okay I know I’m your mother and you ask for my advice anyway soooo – if it is truly a promotion with more money take it. period. Don’t get caught up in work relationships and what it will do to them as far as co-workers – co-workers are just that and they would also do what is right for them and not worry about your feelings in the end. I of course know your financial situation so I say take as much money as you can to pay off any debt you have, you can’t afford to just up and quit your job because even though it would make you happy in one way it would make you miserable monetarily and then you will NEVER end up in your dream job because you’ll be stuck financially. I hope this helps……… 🙂

  8. jobo April 6, 2012 at 12:35 pm #

    I agree that you should stay at your job making money while hedging your next move. If you can’t keep the current position without it being TOO obvious, would taking the promotion for the time being be TOO terrible even if it’s not what you love? If it pays the bills and is more money, that might still be just the extra boost financially you need to get out on your own. But I support your decision, dear, whatever you decide!

    • runcupcake April 9, 2012 at 9:05 pm #

      I’m not certain if keeping my current position would be too obvious or not. Unfortunately, I think taking the promotion may cause unnecessary strife, that I’d rather not deal with.

      Thanks for the support, you’re a great friend!

  9. Jim Dodis (@RunBikeSurf) April 6, 2012 at 12:51 pm #

    You haven’t exactly been ecstatic in your current role. So if you can make more money while not being ecstatic, until the job that does make you ecstatic comes along, what the hell. its a job, and you keep to yourself there anyway, so who cares if you’re working for a coworker or huckleberry finn. Tell your boss to show you the money for the added challenge and responsibility.

    • Keith Salisbury April 6, 2012 at 1:10 pm #


    • runcupcake April 9, 2012 at 9:04 pm #

      Pay that comes with the new position is not something that was discussed, I will definitely have to ask about that!

  10. Happy Fit Mama (@happyfitmama) April 6, 2012 at 9:15 pm #

    I’d stay at your current job while trying to find/prep for your dream job. You’ll need money to help fuel that dream. Good luck in you decision!

    • runcupcake April 9, 2012 at 9:04 pm #

      Thank you! I definitely wasn’t planning on leaving without another job, even if some days I feel like that is my best and only option.

  11. Heather (Where's the Beach) April 6, 2012 at 9:43 pm #

    Girl I wish I had some advice. I worked at a job I HATED for 8.5 years. Ok, I wasn’t miserable until the last 3 but still. It sucks. You have to really really do what’s right for your sanity. Is it worth taking the new position at all? If you don’t want it, don’t want to be there……

    • runcupcake April 9, 2012 at 9:02 pm #

      I’m beginning to think the new position isn’t worth it, so I’ve been mulling it over, and debating how to approach it. I feel clearer on it than I did on Friday, but still a little muddy.

  12. Kymberly Williams-Evans April 7, 2012 at 11:06 pm #

    What’s the worst that could happen if you have a clear conversation with your (acting) boss? If you are prepared for that, then proceed down the route of honesty and what you really want. Otherwise you are simply biding your time until you can leave, which your boss would want less than you being in a position that makes you unhappy. http://funandfit.org/fun-fit-radio/

    • runcupcake April 9, 2012 at 9:01 pm #

      I’m not certain what would happen if I was clear and honest. I have been thinking about it a lot since I read your comment the other day. I have some ideas in my mind of how I want to approach it, I just need to get my head wrapped around it first.

      I feel as though, even though I am biding my time, I don’t want to burn any bridges so I am, of course, still working as well as I would if it was a job I truly enjoyed.

  13. Kristin April 9, 2012 at 8:52 pm #

    OK, let me just be upfront first and foremost. Dream jobs are HARD to come by. I really don’t believe that the vast majority of us ever wind up doing what we really dream about and want to do in life (at least for a career). I feel as though the term “dream job” insists that, all around, it is the line of work we’ve longed for, the tasks we’re the best at, and the paycheck we’ve always wanted. BUT, that doesn’t mean we can’t at least get some of those things.

    I think your best option is to stay put and look elsewhere so you can diversify your resume. Stay under the radar and politely decline the promotion. You don’t have to be untruthful to your boss but just say that you’re not ready to make that jump and you like where you are at the moment. It may be difficult to stick it out but figure out exactly what you want to do and start networking. If you want to be a trainer, maybe you can broaden your options – can you work as a fitness educator at a health insurance company or a non-profit? Can you work at an organization that promotes well-being and health without being a trainer? Broadening your options may afford you more opportunities in the job market.

    Five years ago I took a pretty significant pay cut to jump to a job that I will never look back and regret. I work for one of the best women’s health organizations out there now but passed up several opportunities prior to my current job because they just didn’t feel right. Trust your gut!

    • runcupcake April 9, 2012 at 9:00 pm #

      I never thought of the term “dream job” like you lay it out here, but you’re right. I absolutely love the advice you’re offering here.

      My mother works for a local hospital, and most of the hospitals within the state are run by the same organization. I’m working on getting my foot in the door there, even if it’s doing secretarial, rather than health/fitness, related work right now – for the exact reasons you list, broadening my options. By getting my foot in the door in a hospital, and having not only an education as a trainer, but also experience in business and management, I am opening myself up to a wide array of options.

      I’m glad you love what you are doing, and I truly appreciate your input. XOXO

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